It’s been a while since I devoted any attention to this virtual piece of my existence, however, while the blog was quiet my mind wasn’t. Over
the time I have been carefully observing the world and relationships around me, writing them down into words that I would like to share with you.
On living the life
I plunge into the darkness,
all the way down, and float in nowhere
until I see the stars.
I strive to learn to turn the CO2 into oxygen myself, for myself. Love is abundant. It is not a relative variable. It is like cells. They expand by division. If I give enough love to myself there will be enough love for others.
On mad people
There are people who pass you when you are wandering in your world, the one where you know every corner, and when the burning fire in your heart does not burn anymore but smolders and puffs. Then they walk in – those that burn brighter than the sun – they come up suddenly and in a second, they have you! They blow up the flame of old desires and passions, those that you almost forgot you have, and they bring new blood into your veins. All of a sudden the world goes spinning and your heart goes racing and you do all the crazy things and nothing is in control anymore. And it will never be. Cause you saw the world from a new perspective, and the world you knew before will never be the same again.
I was afraid of becoming numb. Numb is not good. What is good are highs and lows cause that’s how you know you are truly alive. Numb is a stalemate. A coma. The straight line after your heart beats for the very last time.
I think that the feeling of numbness is a natural way for the organism to protects itself from the pain. When the body cannot handle it anymore, it shuts off. It practically is a stand-by regime with a heartbeat.
We can never be in full control of what comes in our way. Sometimes we strive to stick with our planned route with all our force. Fighting the currents that are taking us elsewhere. And then we end up weak and beaten-up. How wonderful it would be to lay down in your boat, look at the sky and trust that the flow itself will take you where you need to be.
We pave our road as we go. Every day, we are subject to millions of changes and processes that are transforming us into a wholly new being. How naive it is to create plans for years ahead? We don’t live in absolute universe. Everything we know and everything we have is dynamic.
The Globe is round. Doesn’t matter how long you walk, your journey never ends. Instead of falling down over the edge of the world, the worst thing that can happen to you is to fall into a wholly new adventure. For the Globe is round. Thank God.
Seated in a class
with all the young bright intellectuals,
talking about integration of immigrants,
in this class,
is willing to
Today I deleted my facebook… You know, I was trying to find a solution to my loneliness. I was denying it. I was ridiculing it. Then I felt sorry for me. I simplified it. I hated myself. I neglected it. I tried to change perspectives. I meditated. I was thinking of all the good stuff that I should be thankful for. But there is one thing I cannot change.
I feel lonely and I cannot undo it.
I realized that every time I got hit by this sudden feeling of loneliness, the first thing I do is I click on facebook icon on my phone. Or whatsapp. Or instagram. I am running round and round through these applications only to suck up a little bit of warmth and care.
I am a thirsty man on a desert.
I look and look. But there is no stream. No oasis.
The drops of water I drain from the wet sand do not satisfy my thirst.
I search for the stream outside but maybe I am on a wrong address.
It is all
Sometimes I get flooded
with so much love
that my heart blows up and bounces off the ground,
but what´s the matter with all this love,
if there is no one out to give it to.